After the Goodbye 

The moment was approaching and I felt like the Hoover Dam would not be able to stop the tears that were inevitable.  We had navigated O’Hare’s International Terminal with a trolley full of suitcases and Rubbermaid totes.  Our daughter was checked in and ready to leave for her first term in Romania.  The line through airport security was long and the time had arrived to say goodbye. I was not surprised by the unfettered tears and the long tight hugs, but I was unprepared for what would follow.

Saying “goodbye” is hard, there is no way around it. The scene at the airport was dramatic, tears I thought would never stop and the feeling like someone had reached into my chest and pulled out my heart.  My husband and I just stood there and held each other, oblivious to those around us.  What surprised us were the days and weeks following as we walked in a daze as if we were mourning a death.  We were totally unprepared for those feelings.  We had embraced our daughter’s decision for foreign missions.  We had prayed for her financial support and rejoiced when she had reached the goal.  We were thrilled that she was walking with Christ and obedient to His call on her life.  So why were we mourning and was there something wrong with us spiritually?

Research I recently came across done by Cheryl Savageau, EdD and Diane Stortz for their book Parents of Missionaries, suggests that this response is not uncommon at all.  Emotions among families of missionaries ran the gamut from anger to depression. After all you are not just losing the physical presence of your son or daughter, but you are losing a way of life, an established relationship, maybe a dream. It is not unbiblical to mourn, there are many instances of mourning where God does not rebuke.  Even Paul expresses relief in Philippians 2:26 that God showed mercy on him and spared his friend Epaphroditus, “lest I should have sorrow upon sorrow.”  Everyone’s experience is unique based on what they are bringing into the situation.  Sometimes there are other circumstances that bring additional stress such as health problems, a difficult marriage or the care of elderly parents.

Regardless the answer is always the same…God.  God did not just call your child into the ministry but called you to be the parents of a child in ministry.  It’s not just about them…it’s about you.  God is doing a work in you.  He has not taken something away from you but given you the opportunity to be part of something bigger.  The “God of all comfort” has promised to “comfort us in all our affliction, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” II Corinthians 1:4.  God’s comfort is real, His love is unconditional, His strength is everlasting.

The goodbyes have gotten a little easier each time.  There is still sorrow but it is not a sorrow without hope.  It looks forward to the next time and above all else it looks to the eternal.

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us."  Romans 8:18